"Jon, I’m going to tell you an incredible story, the story of how I met your mother."
"Dear diary, today, I ate some oatmeal for my breakfast. It was flavorless and watery. I thought of my mother. I cried. Then I put on my raincoat and traveled to the market. I purchased a pair of fancy mice. When I brought them home, one devoured the other and then died of loneliness. I felt envy. I lost a button on my cloak. Selyse pointed it out in front of the entire court - o, cruel attention. Button, o button, o where have thou fled? Did thee tary too long amongst fabric and thread? Did thou fall from my bosom and cease to exist? How I wish I could follow thee into the mist."
"Walks in to the room
Feels like a big balloon
I said, ‘Hey girls you are beautiful’
Diet coke and a pizza please
Diet coke I’m on my knees
Screaming ‘Big girl you are beautiful’"